Born on the 24th of November 2014, born to change the world. And mine.
BIGGIE stabilised my emotions.
He brought joy and release to every anxious moment.
I didn’t question myself around Biggie. My thoughts or my actions. My thoughts and my actions were my thoughts and my actions and Biggie’s constant companionship meant I was unapologetic about both.
He was my physical companion. Holding one another, sharing space with one another was our life’s great addiction. Taking hits off one another hundreds of times throughout each day.
Going into new scenarios with Biggie was at once exciting and calm. In any room, on any mountain, in any ocean we had one another and we locked eyes on one another constantly. Checking in - are you ok - is it time to go - should we stay - are you scared - are you happy Biggie?
Going into new scenarios without him is scary. Unexplored territory is life without Biggie. We faced every new mountain together, every new swell, every new person, every new home. Adventure and journey were our shared love language.
He had endless energy.
He had endless time for people.
He was sensationally fierce and affectionate.
He was a water and mountain warrior.
He was my love, my soul, my best boy, my bed mate, my school mate, my work mate, my dinner mate, my morning mate, my counsel.
He was my counsel.
Biggie was my world and everything we did happened around that.
Where are you Biggie? Come back to me.
You will be the great love of my life.
Wrapped in his journey blanket I held him for the last time and kissed and kissed his sweet little head. Laying him into the shallow ground to rest in the mountains we once climbed together, trying to let go of an unfinished journey together.
And now, here, alone, trying to seek comfort from the lyrics by The Frames
“So lay me down, down by your side.”
A broken hearted girl, left to do the work we began together.
Here's to looking at you BIG. I will love you forever and ever and hope we meet again because I cannot bear to be without you.